a breath of fresh air is rare

for those of you that don't know, i have been piecing together a masters degree for years now. too many if you ask me. i started a master of divinity and switched because it was too ministry focused and i choose not to associate right now with any church or denomination and i have my reasons and i think their good. so i moved to an M.A in Theology but this was still too subjective and narrow in perspective. so i have finally landed in an M.A. in Religious Studies program at Cal State Long Beach. So far its perfect for me: its objective, academic and i can concentrate it towards philosophy of religion with an aim towards future professorship. people always ask me why i'm studying this and i have always felt the explanation but had trouble putting it into words. then i stumbled across Daniel Dennetts new book "Breaking the Spell" and he said it perfectly. this is why i am studying religion and keep in mind that this qoute comes from a secular humanistic philosopher:

"It is high time that we subject religion as a global phenomenon to the most intensive multidisciplinary research we can muster, calling on the best minds on the planet. Why? Because religion is too important for us to remain ignorant about. It affects not just our social, political, and economic conflicts, but the very meanings we find in our lives. For many people, probably a majority of the people on earth, nothing matter more than religion. For this very reason, it is imperative that we learn as much as we can about it."

i really do crave significance in this life and i think its starting to rear its head. i'm gonna keep riding the wave.

look who's growing up and hating every minute of it

if you haven't noticed, its been awhile since my last post. but its not because i am giving up. the real reason is because i actually have to work for a living. i know people think working for starbucks is cool and hip and whatever, but its actually exhausting. i am just always tired now. that, and i have no internet access at work. which makes blogging extremely difficult. one of these days i'll get back in the swing of things, but thats not today. i think i have to be up at like 3:30am tomorow, so i'm off to not get enough sleep. and on it goes.

i heart this guy

this is worth 6 minutes of your day. trust me.

this is a double post

there are 2 things going on here that you need to know about:
1) my daughter is seriously like 5 months going on 50 years old. i can't quite explain it. if you've met her you will know what i mean. people have said that she is like a few months old with the soul of a retiree. she is the only 5 month old i know that will just sit there in a chair with you and just sit there, content as can be. yet her demeanor and squeals demand grown-up interaction. its kinda frightening. she had been sitting there for 30 minutes already when my wife shot this. she makes me contemplate reincarnation.
2) the book i'm reading is absolutely fantastic. maybe 'bloody hysterical' is a better phrase. whichever, if you're into memiors you must get your hands on this one. it's written by the writer and comedian Iris Bahr. she has this incredible way of weaving her inner thoughts and insecurities into situations. her sarcasm and made-up words are penetrating. and yes you read that correctly, its called "Dork Whore." oh, and just so you're forewarned, its rated R.

i have reached the pinnacle

i knew my outfit today was kickass 50's. and then someone told me that i looked like a character out of a quentin tarantino movie. seriously, could there be a better compliment? i can now die happy. i have nothing left to achieve.

officially blissfull

i just haven't felt like posting as of late. i think its because i'm not doing anything. and it feels really good. i took this week off in between jobs and its quite nice. but i must be careful. being idle usually costs me the most money because i want to start shopping. and i must admit it feels heavenly to longer work at that tux shop. heavenly. bliss. so i start starbucks next week, monday the 9th 7:30 am. i am training in the fowler store and then i'll move back into town after 4 weeks. i am sure i'll get back into the swing of things soon. and when that happens...

east coast. essence. euphoria. elitism.

unload bus. chinatown. canal st. sunny. tall building's shade. souvenier sensation. subway. 5th ave. H&M. DJ spinster. 12noon. rocker sunglasses. 5$ irony. trump tower. fashionistas. black. leggings. scarves. peacoats. R2D2 mailbox. apple glass. central park. catholic museum. hot dog stand. sourkrout. MOMA. spellbound. originals. kirchner. picasso. monet. van goh. jeff wall. 6th floor. times square. stock market. grey's anatomy. rain. nat sherman. scarf. broadway. off broadway. off off broadway. madonna. the year of club jenna. D&B. comedy recruit. squared. wheelchair singer. i love NY hoodie. french people. night. UCLA victory. west coast irony. MTV. hot dog stand. sarah jessica parker. gigantic posters. subway. german people. canal st. chinatown. load bus.

and i'm off...

i'm heading to the east coast this evening for a few days in philly and then one in NY. i'll keep you all posted on the happs...

its not TV, its HBO

this is just a post to say that if you don't have it, you're really missing out.
it's worth every penny.

day of the dead

i couldn't resist buying this today. the art work is fantastic and black and white are superior colors. t's are the only way to go when it heats up in fresno and you might as well rock em like a rocker. if you woke up today and realized your closet is from 2002, please visit metroparkusa.com and get an upgrade.

the know in the no # 6: wine styles

fig garden has a new great little place to do wine tasting: wine styles. they even have jazz twice a month and bring in world renown grapes for special tasting and many other special events. stop buy and while you're enjoying your syrah fitting get your name on the e-mail list.

and apparently i have my own vineyard in australia.

its overdue, but its an official hooray

finally! finally! finally! let the gods be praised.
this is my official announcement that i will no longer be using a tape measure to win my daily bread.
but rather a corporate grin and a " tall, grande, or venti?"
i have officially joined the ranks of well, the same ranks as everybody: a Starbucks employee.
as of april 9th 2007 i will be an Assistant Store Manager.
i will blog later when i know which store.

yes i saw it...and then i saw it again

it is indeed rare that a movie lives up to the hype, but refreshingly this one did. it is even more rare that i want to see a movie twice, so suprisingly this one i did. everything about the movie was perfect: emotional intensity, cinematography, plot movement, sub plot movement, violence, and historical veracity mixed nicely with mythology.

this movie was like a therapy session: rites of passage into masculinity, discovery into a raging purpose, sexuality, and mythological spirituality.

calling it like it is

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

the know in the no # 5: fashion is eternal

FRESNO!!! this is no longer acceptable. i can no longer stand going out and seeing every guy wearing the same ugly department store bought striped shirt whether it be polo or dress or whatever. people always laugh at me when i say "fashion is eternal." but anything that changes the way you feel about yourself is eternal.

fashion is art and its time to get creative.

these are just off the streets in seattle/west coast.

take this couple.

the scheme is perfect.

or this guy.

note: its ok for guys to show a little boot


out on the street with perfect accessories.

or this girl.

this outfit is spectacular. the scarf, the layering. even the white design on the boots. and she's just shopping in whole foods.

for more fashion fun visit pikepine.com

the frightening phenomena of religious indoctrination

i saw this movie recently and it scared me. religious indoctrination of children is a harsh and frightening phenomenon no matter what religion. whether its muslim extremists teaching their children that suicide bombing is part of allah's will or christian parents teaching their children that american secularists are their enemies, both have harmful reprecutions. teaching your child at the age of 5 to scream in tongues at a statue of george bush so he will outlaw abortion should raise the hair on the back of any onlookers neck.

this got me thinking about how i want to raise my daughter. i remember someone over the winter holidays said to me that one of the greatest things about having kids is we can make more christian disciples. something about this felt wrong to me. there is no such thing as a christian child or a muslim child or a buddhist child. there are children whose parents might be affiliated with these religions, but no child can be that particular religion until it grows enough intellectually to make a decision. i decided that its not as important to teach my child what to think as it is to teach her how to think. i want her to have the freedom to decide for herself. that is the best gift a parent can give to a child: freedom to be who they want and know that unconditional love will be there no matter what.

More of the Same

I am alarmed,
Alarmed by the obnoxious nature of nature.
I am paralyzed,
Paralyzed by the perplexity of stature.

Tormented, I am tormented
The fire seething beneath and beyond.
Simultaneously crushing
Imploding, I was fond.

But I am squeezed, between the asphalt and the rubber.
The tick tock persisting, wishing it would slumber.

I am annoyed,
Annoyed by you and your lofty promise.
I am angered,
Angered by tomorrow’s false witness.

Fucked, I am fucked,
Buried beneath and beyond foot six.
Suffocating forcefully,
Drowning my potential fix.

Do I, do I dare make that call?
Inventing another mirage, I will stumble into fall.

I am ashamed,
Ashamed to say that winter never passed.
I am assaulted,
Assaulted by the memoir of another’s task.

M.A.S.H.

remember that game from school we all used to play. i found it online and my life turns out pretty good.

I drive a black Audi Q7.
I marry Sienna Miller.
We have 1 kid.
We live in an Apartment in London.
I am a Professor.

And no i didn't cheat. totally random. thanks brian hale for the link.

go play. http://www.playmash.com/

the word on the street...

...is that Coldplay is coming out with their fourth album this year. this news came after a declaration of a major hiatus by the band. so, who knows. Chris Martin is always a bit loopy, but thats why i like him. a lot of folks felt X&Y was overrated, but i didn't and am still a big fan. apparently this fourth album is supposed to be very different stylistically and a bit more experimental. we'll have to wait and see.

the know in the no # 4: let the rogue festivities begin!

people keep telling me they are tired of sitting around their suburban homes not doing anything, so here's your chance. this is one of the best times of the year for activities in fresno. yes, it's rogue festival time. it starts today and goes until march 10th. for the next 10 days there are over 150 different events. you can plan your attack here: http://www.roguefestival.com/

so, i'll see ya'll at arthop tonight! stay updated at fresnofamous.com. peace.

the know in the no # 3: clovis gets an A for effort, but that's all

i applaud clovis for its new movie theatre, 'criterion.' if you didn't know, this theatre is attempting to join the big leagues, by including an indie/artistic screen, where your abnormal indie flicks can actually get a showing. not too bad for this mainstream big car infested city.

so i stopped in and saw factory girl. its no secret i have a thing for edie sedgwick and sienna miller. so when the latter was playing the former i couldn't resist. and i was not dissapointed. guy pearce plays an incredible andy warhol and sienna's portrayal of edie was dead on. we probably could have done without anakin skywalker, i mean, hayden christiansen, whose attempt at bob dylan seemed strained. but all in all, worth the viewing. the 60's were the best and worst decade in our country's history. i love every part of that time period. it sure beats this new millenium decade, with stupid wars and ridiculous unnecessary technology. at least vietnam was trying to help someone else while simultaneously curbing communism.

so 60's fans, go to the show. but be careful, SUV's with one person in them are lurking around every corner.

the know in the no # 2: sun-dried tomato compound butter

when you're done eating at the thaiphoon, pick another night and cross the street to rousseau's. this is a bit more high end, but in my estimation it is worth every penny. in fact, the meal i had rivaled every other meal i've ever had in fresno. and that's saying a lot for a quaint little tower district joint. i had a very rare (it's tough to find a place that actually knows what rare means) bacon wrapped filet prepared in a combo with mushroom ravioli. it was perfection. to top it off, was the sun-dried tomato compound butter, floating on the top of my meat, melting away the blah of another friday in the CV.

the gods and globalization

i have been thinking lately about the relationship between world religions. in doing so i realize i join countless scholars, theologians, and philosophers from the past century. in fact, this topic has been on the forefront of scholarship for the same amount of time. in many ways, this is an inevitable place to find your thoughts on the road to ultimate reality. this inevitability is the result of the world getting simultaneously larger in numbers and smaller in ethno-cultural contact.

so, i realize that one can take 4 major positions regarding the world religions. i am going to write these from the perspective of christianity, because that is the religion of my culture.

position #1- exclusivism: this position is held by ultra-conservatives and fundamentalists. basically, only christianity is true and apart from a cognitive faith profession in jesus christ one will spend eternity in a really bad place. those who hold this position believe the bible is basically literal and inerrant. so its words have the final absolute say. those that hold this position are usually considered the heroes and the faithful by those who also hold this position, but usually ignorant and intolerant by everyone else.

position #2-inclusivism: basically everyone that is seeking truth is in essence seeking jesus and will be included among the saved. this is like the recent roman catholic declaration that all roads lead to rome. since jesus is the truth and all religions have some truth, those parts are basically considered as valid saving faith elements. jesus is like a truth umbrella covering all religions.

position #3-pluralism: all religions are in essence the same thing, just with different cultural embodiments. an analogy would be the universe: all of the planets are like different religions revolving around the sun. the sun is ultimate reality (God) and the different religions/planets are each on their own orbits. in this frame, God cannot be cornered by any one religion. he is beyond the full grasp of any one religion because he is beyond any grasp. he is the ultimate.

position #4- rejection: this is the growing one. this one is basically held by agnostics, athiests, and skeptics. they don't see any of the above options as valid because from a logical point of view none of the religions are compatible because they contradict each other in there presentation of reality. therefore, they mutually exclude each other and none of them can possibly be true. there is absolutely no way that one of them can be true to the exclusion of the other because a particular religion cannot disprove the truth claims of any of the other.

well, there's your menu. take your pick.

attention 90's rockers

remember the days when "alternative rock" actually meant something. when the foundation of indie rock was being laid and you actually bought a literal CD with a cover and artwork inside. well i do and i must say, i'm a bit excited that the infamous smashing pumpkins are re-uniting and coming out with another album. apart from bush, there wasn't a 90's rock band i liked more. the album is called "zeitgeist" which couldn't be more fitting. the "zeitgeist" is a german word for "the spirit of the times" something of which i have been studying on an academic level. it will be interesting to see where they go with that, or how the musical lull of the zeitgeist matches our material global one.

apparently meredith and her anatomy can't swim

i have been a true-blue fan of grey's since the beginning, but i have to admit last night was stupid. first off, to get knocked off a dock by a half dead guy is plain idiotic. common sense: stand on the other side of him. secondly, who the hell can't swim!? third, you're in seattle for god's sake! hypothermia!? this isn't the north pole. besides, mcdreamy can swim and get you and he doesn't get hypo? whatever. stupid. like, he has 1% more body fat than grey. and fourth, she was drowned for like 35 minutes of the show and she'll probably get revived next week. whatever. stupid.

the genious of grey's was in its portrayal of reality. its ability to take real life stuggles and pain and paint them in an emotionally compelling way. but lo and behold, they all go the same route. by season 3 you have to get stupid and overly unrealistic. i think the drama has gone too far and i'm gonna stick to the office.

PS why the hell did she wake up dead to that random bomb dude and denny!? stupid.

the difficult dichotomy of divine schizophrenia

over the winter holidays, when all the old crew was back in town, our conversation inevitably went the direction of religion. me and all my boys were raised conservative christians and though many of our lives have taken diverse paths, we are all still similiar in some degree as it pertains to our inherited christianity. we have gotten honest enough about many of the difficulties of religion and truth and God and are all wrestling with this thing called reality. in various ways we have allowed ourselves to question ourselves and be okay with that.

one of the topics that arises when we get together is the nature and authority of scripture. we talked this year of its contradictions and difficulties. if you're intrested here's a link to a list of biblical contradictions: http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html

but there is a glaring contradiction that i have yet to be able to reconcile and its bigger than all of those on that list because it has to do with God's nature and his/her ontology (i included her for my christian feminist friends). it has to do with the glaring and obvious dichotomy between the god of the old testament and the jesus of the new. while christianity claims its the same god, it can appear difficult at times to maintain this. here is what richard dawkins boldly and unabashedly says about it:

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochictic, capriciously malevolent bully." (The God Delusion, p31)

that quote is harsh and i was greatly offended. that is, until i realized it was true. then i didn't know what to do. we turn to the New Testament and we have Jesus. this kinda hippy-ish, soft, love your neighbor, quick to forgive, compassionate, dude who doesn't resemble his father at all. there are a few instances where he gets close, but at the end of the day it seems like two different gods. christian scholars have invented several diverse theological ways to handle this, but none are that convincing. anybody have any idea how to reconcile this?

anything but ordinary

there are certain movies that make you laugh, make you cry, and/or make you feel. but it is a rare occurence for a movie to completely envelope your emotions and give you an outright experience of escapism. for a movie to make you forget that there is a world outside of it. this movie, "running with scissors," is such a movie. not just because the all-star cast demands this, but because the eccentricity of the memoir being portrayed is almost unbelievable, yet as real as drinking a glass of water. the pyschological elements of unconsciousness and outright dirty honesty are on full display and leave you wondering how you ever arrived at being such a square. if you want to have an experience of emotional shock and sheer existential pain, this movie is for you.

the know in the no #1: tofu-palooza

this post is an aid; a crutch if you will to my fellow fresnans looking to bypass the norm. and by norm i mean driving an oversized truck, wearing a stripped polo from american eagle, with your girl sitting in the middle front seat, on your way to logan's to throw some peanuts on the floor. if that's your idea of a good night, STOP READING. i don't want you reading my blog. if you are looking for more then let's roll. here's a spot that you must eat at, but it requires driving south of herndon. yes, pause, breathe, i said SOUTH. warning: proceed with caution and at your own risk. it's as far as olive. if you don't know where olive is, STOP READING. riverpark needs you. but if you can, go to Thaiphoon on olive street in the tower district. its a quaint little spot across the street from rousseus where the echo used to be. it recently opened and has a warm atmosphere of mustard and burgandy walls arrayed with oriental bundles. you have your choice of a myriad of sauces and spices with various combinations of meats. but i say, and this is coming from a serious carnivore, order the thai peanut tofu. but it doesn't matter, because everything is $8.50. and since it is mandatory to spend more than that when you go out, a suitable companion to this dish will be a bottle of the artezian red zinfandel. enjoy.

yesterday was one of those days

its a rare occurence for me to have an entire day that feels like bliss, but yesterday was one of them so i deemed it blog worthy. for starters, i had the day off, which will have dramatic effects on anyone's outlook. the day began with my daughter sleeping in until 9 o'clock, which by the way you can't ask for more. i moved on to a vanilla latte from the bucks and headed to my guru appointment. this i'm afraid to admit was wonderfully compelling and moved my consciousness to a new place within a measly 45 minutes. the tone of this raised-consciousness was comprised of my need for the bohemian lifestyle and the battle this does with the usual middle class bondage. we must individuate i'm telling you. the dramatic nature of this led me to treat myself to a turkish royal. following i threw ho and berk in the honda and we met don don for lunch at the corner cafe. the special was tri-tip on grilled sourdough: hmmm. then we found a hole in the wall coffee shop and i went to vanilla latte # 2, which was significantly better than # 1. and it just so happened that a fresno undercurrent magazine was pre-placed at my table of choice. this seemingly little coincidence was everything i needed, for therein was an entire calendar of fresno events for the month of february. from jazz clubs to art shows, i could begin planning my bohemian assault. the afternoon consisted of me following some job leads. i decided to ditch my interview with an insurance company. if there is anything in this world i am, an insurance salesman is not it. so after some conversations with some managers around town i landed at livingstones. sitting at the bar was my buddy laz. so we shot the breeze, enjoying 2$ lime margaritas and free happy hour pizza. then weaves showed up and made it a gathering. yes, you know; we owned stones. he brought me a book to read, which was "Start Late, Finish Rich" written by that guy who's famous for inventing the "latte factor." the irony was too much to handle. the day ended with an indoor soccer game and together with my boys jeff, adam, eli, tim, and the mvp goalie scott, we took it to this team. this fact didn't seem possible at the beginning of the game. but there you have it, nothing major, but everything smooth, like a jose cuervo black and gold. i woke up today with as sore of a body as i can remember, but a mind renewed and refreshed with that needed tinge of optimism.

give one to every car in america

but not because i'm all about hillary, but because this bumper sticker is hilarious. it's 100% bi-partisan. notice the colors and the fact that republicans can put this on the front of their car and democrats the back.

the socialite society

as of late i have been grieving a bit about how life feels like it keeps forcing one into isolation. this isolation, i think, is a result of a capitalistic, individualistic society. this type of society breeds the kind of life i never wanted, yet one i find myself straining to fight against. it almost feels inevitable to end up here. here is what i mean by here: work all day, work on a family all night, maybe some TV in there, and then sleep to start it all over again. that is not life and i won't let it be. don't get me wrong, family's fine, but when the world has over 6 billion people in it, i can't imagine why i have to spend 99% of my time with 2. if thats your perogative fine, but its not mine. so this leads me to ponder about those high society socialites. you know the ones- you read about, watch about, and hear about. where the room is filled with smoke, the pinot glasses depleted, trendy music in the air, and constant conversation about literature, philosophy, politics, and religion. this is the society i need. people tell me i'm in the wrong town and frankly i think their right. fresno, generally speaking, is an ulta-conservative-white-picket-fence-suburban breeding town. but i don't want the sub to the urban, i want the core.

so last night was remarkably refreshing. the society came out of the closet and migrated to the only center of fresno culture; the tower district. since i might get out now once a month i was like a kid in a candy store. the same shape pulled out the indie rock vibe and filled veni vidi vici with that aura of trendiness. kind of like you are in the center of it. we even had what i call the 'fresno five family' representaion (the brewers, the bryants, the chandlers, the joneses, and the weavers). in other words, it seemed everyone was there and if you weren't, well, you probably missed out. it was like the good old days at the factory. the lights, the music, the sounds, the fashion, and the smoke. there was even a small fight between joe camel and the marbolo man, which i think ended in a truce. somewhere towards 2 AM i realized that people are so much cooler now then they were at 9 PM. it also dawned on me and my orlando-bloom-shin-high-black-leather-boots, that maybe fresno is not that bad after all. well, at least partially.

PS the super bowl does not count as a socialite gathering

girl on fire and out of the ashes; a modern muse

guys, bypass your starbucks tomorrow morning and pick this up. you won't be disappointed. its got everything from satirical fashion tips about khaki pants, killer socks, dolce shoes, pet monkeys, republican dropouts, and of course sienna. and if you don't know ms. miller, you must be living in a cave, or more likely, a church.

the scales are tipping

this next post is provoked by and dedicated to my man brian hale. he has been my boy since high school and remains one of my favorite people alive. his comment on my last post raises two important questions: 1) is there hope, meaning, and/or love without religion? and 2) would the world be BETTER if people followed their religion fully?

to answer the first question we must reckon with the idealogical presupposition that it is religion that gives us these characteristics of life on this planet. that is a notion i am not sure i agree with. without going fully into the historical evolution of religion, i think it suffices to say that love and hope and meaning have developed as necessary and common characteristics to all humans, regardless of religion. what i mean is, our life on this planet has prompted and created these as necessary for survival. i am not saying religion has not played a part in fostering these, but i am saying that religion is not necessary to obtain them. frankly, one does not have to believe in a higher power or spirutal being(s) to find love and hope. there are many things in this life that provide these for us. many anti-religious people are very happy while many devout religionists are miserable and vice versa. therefore, the issue is not religion, it's the personal lot and makeup of each individual that promotes these characteristics. our psychological makeup, demeanor, personality, location, ethnicity, social status, financial situation, etc. often determine whether or not we find hope and love and satisfaction in this life. when people look at celebrities and say things like, "well their probably not happy," that is too general and is often christian propaganda to make us not crave the life they have. in actuality, many celebrities are very happy and make whatever choice the want to insure this state of being. at the end of the day, give a person some meaningful work with significant money and meaningful love with significant sex and i bet that person has all the hope and meaning they need in this life.

as to the second question, i think the world would be BETTER with no religion. because religion is usually the greatest enemy of free-thinking and has often been the enemy of true moral progress. the freedoms we enjoy today are not because of religion, rather in spite of it. for example, christians argued FOR slavery with the bible and if it wasn't for liberal lovers of humanity multiple ethnic groups would still be enslaved, all in the name of God. the tenents of most religions are harmful. those terrorists on 9/11 thought they were doing god a favor. the pilgrims killed amer-indians because of the manifest destiny from god that this new land was the promised land and we had to destroy the inhabitants just like the Isralites did after the exodus. at the end of the day, religion is a mixed bag at best, just like real life. there is no black and white answer, but gazing at the history of religion, the scales tip against it.

the john lennon longing

for the next bit i will be posting a series on religion. not only does our contemporary situation demand this type of dialogue, but humanity itself is at a crossroads. a fork; one that could decide our future. i hope mankind continues to evolve into higher states of consciousness. the majority of my posts for this series will be my thoughts from the book by Richard Dawkins, "The God Delusion."

here's a sample:

"Imagine, with John Lennon, a world with no religion. Imagine no suicide bombers, no 9/11, no 7/7, no Crusades, no witch-hunts, no Gunpowder Plot, no Indian partition, no Israeli/Palestinian wars, no Serb/Croat/Muslim massacres, no persecution of Jews as 'Christ-killers', no Northern ireland 'troubles', no shiny-suited bouffant-haired televangelists fleecing gullible people out of their money, no Taliban to blow up ancient statues, no public beheadings of blasphemers, no flogging of female skin for the crime of showing an inch of it."

more to come...

unfinished puzzles of bleeding hearts

it is of utter necessity that my first post be poetry. i want to set the tone of this blog with that lost literary art of satiated longing. and for those of you that can't handle that, don't worry. the light and personal stufff will be forthcoming.


The way is protruding,
But clarity eludes your grasp.
The scholar stopped equating,
As the rush of night came fast.

From within or without doth brightness come?
The sun, the moon, the stars: undone.
The heart and the mind become
One, without a negligent ton.

Wanting, needing,
Gnawing, cheating,
Yearning, learning,
Burning, churning.

You had it, you lost it.
You knew it, you tossed it.
You feigned it, you bought it.
You crave it, now take it.

An unfinished puzzle demands effort.
The undone cannot be criticized,
Bring me your best comfort
And the holes become publicized.